L - O
L'appel du Vide
My freedom lies below
My future above
I gaze into the abyss
This content of wills I cannot win
My legs tremble at the thought
My heart aches at the deed
My mind screams at the fall
One small step
And then a very long one
It would last the rest of my life
But only for a moment
In my mind I am already falling
Do I truly desire death so
Or merely the possibility?
Am I a sadist for the obscene
Or a realist for the escape
No more job
No more family
No more anything
No more… me
A fair trade?
I think not
Away I step
From the edge
From the abyss
From the end
On this day the void beckoned
The abyss called
And I said
Why do we cry?
When a loved one did die?
Why do we cry?
When a partner we bid bye?
Why do we cry?
When a friend did lie?
We cry about the good and bad
We cry whether we’re happy or sad
We cry when we receive a diamond ring
We cry about every little thing
What do our tears even mean?
What is happening in the mind unseen?
Where do our tears go, after they drop?
Where do they come from and where do they stop?
Was it tragedy’s turn or comedy’s call?
Was it even worth crying over at all?
Who are these tears meant to aid?
Who are the ones who bid them made?
Will I ponder these questions the rest of my years?
Will I ever discover the reason for tears?
I remember back when I was ten
To my name I had not a dollar, franc or yen
My father was a strict man
Of pocket money he wasn’t a fan
He said, “make it on your own”
For that, I’ll give a small loan
So I went and bought wood, lemons and glue
I didn’t know if I got too many or too few
My first batch was far too sweet
The expectations of my customers I did not meet
I mixed and poured and tried again
Until I found the recipe ye ken
Eventually I found a mix of sweet and tasty
I had not rushed, nor was I hasty
I worked all summer and winter too
I would stand for hours, forgoing the loo
I made myself a couple of bucks
And discovered that poverty sucks
Since then I have worked harder than ever
My business motto is never say never
And now that I possess a company grand
I must give thanks to that humble lemonade stand!
I am bound
Chained to this place
The lock which ensnares me cannot be broken
The rope which hangs me cannot be cut
The chain which constricts me cannot be shorn
I was a free man, once
I will be a free man, again
Confined no more
Bound no more
Sore sore sore
I will be free
I will be liberated
I will be exonerated
For how long have I laboured
For how long have I wept
For how long have I served
Free, free as free as can be
That is what I want for me
No more walls
No more duties
No more job
No more wife
The wild beckons me
Nature calls me
Freedom summons me
I will cast off this life
This human skin
I will roam free
As I once did
No worldly things
And the great wild
A human child
Give thanks to life unyielding
Give thanks to lives unliving
Give thanks to angels sleeping
Give thanks to mother’s shielding
Carry on ye tiny seed
Till thy day of tortuous birth
For that day that you first shall breathe
For that day when you shall lead
A life of downs
A life of ups
A life of laughter
A life of frowns
Glory be to the mother
For she holds you close
Glory be to the father
For he will love you like no other
An ode we sing to life yet started
A medley to herald the coming child
A harmony of life and love
Given freely from those loving-hearted
So let us wait for the miracle born
A life unknown, a life unlived
A life unyielding to misery or fear
So let us wait for the coming morn
Come now, tiny heart we’ve kept
Patiently waiting for all this time
Patiently as we wrote this rhyme
Patiently, as joyous tears were wept
So come now, sweet child of mine
What awaits is a life yet lived
But never shall I let you suffer
Together true, we’ll do just fine
When I was a seed,
I had not want nor need.
Burrowed in the deep dark earth,
Slowly biding my time till my birth.
When I was a sapling,
With the soil itself grappling,
While in the breeze I did sway,
I grew taller day by day.
When I was a mighty oak,
Covered in a tough bark cloak,
I was towering and proud,
My dream to reach a distant cloud.
And now I am but a snag,
A lifeless husk caught in a crag,
My body to the earth it shall go,
Giving my life to a new seed to grow…
Soon I shall be no more than debris,
But, I have rather liked being a tree,
So, if there is a chance to start over,
I would love to be a lucky little clover!
A day as ordinary as any other
I worked and played and dined with mother
Strange, a sense of déjà vu?
Is this really day two?
No, I am not going mad!
I just keep repeating this day so sad!
Why bother with work or mother’s dinner
Who cares what happens to this poor little sinner
When was the last time I took a shower
From the outside world I have begun to cower
Nothing matters nor even keeps
Everything resets between my sleeps
A month of Monday’s came and went
And yet for a Tuesday I would’ve anything spent
What is the point of staying sane?
Everything I try is surely in vain
I travelled as far as the day would allow
To see the nearby world is my new vow
I have seen the world and done it all
Now into eternal sleep I wish to fall
Not even death has freed me this hell
Please oh please won’t someone break the spell
I’m done with this and done with that
I will accept that my life has fallen flat
Peace is within and chaos without
No more shall I wonder, no more shall I doubt…
I am still not sure how I found the way
But I am simply glad it’s finally Tuesday!
Lost and Found
I have searched the highs and the lows
I have wondered if anyone really knows
For what I seek is not easily found
It is not by time or place bound
I began searching at the tender age of nine
It’s when I first realized that not everything was fine
I have sought and searched and even begged
But to my board of truth the answer’s not pegged
I shall continue my search, I cannot stop
This is not something I can buy in the shop
I am sure you are curious as to the object true
It is something we all need, even you
For what I seek is purpose in life
Whether that be making money or finding a wife
I want to know exactly where I stand
I want to know the meaning of my life’s brand
So I will continue to seek and search and scout
To this task I’ll remain devout
So to this answer I’ll open my ear
Until I know just why I’m here.
Wise men say that madness is in the mind
Oh if only I was in such a bind
For my madness is of the literal kind
As in time you’ll surely find
My nemesis sits nightly in the sky
And now you are surely wondering why
Are you thinking I’ve told a lie
But soon you’ll know, for that night is nigh
Yes, when the heavens complete their arc
And the beast of the soul bears its mark
I run hurriedly to the nearest park
As my human word becomes a wolfish bark
This curse of mine many years I’ve kept
So many times I’ve cried and wept
As I went night after night I had not slept
And the full moon closer crept
But now it is time again to prowl
And creep around under night’s great cowl
This curse which I was given so foul
Will cause me to let out a great big howl
So hide your children, hide your meat
For this werewolf is coming down your street
If you don’t flee I’ll have a treat
As under the moonlight I need to eat!
Nothing is ever the same
Same same same
You all look the same
Same thing, every day
Same thing, day by day
Am I insane?
Insane I am?
Sane I said!
Same I said!
Same same same!
I do some more
Yet nothing else comes
Time after time
Fail fail fail
Expect the same
Time before time
Same same same!
Am I insane?
Insane I am?
Who be you?
You be who?
The clock strikes three
The clock strikes me!
Who said that?
That said who?
Who am I?
I am who?
The owl hoots for you!
The voices talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk!
Am I insane?
Insane I am?
I’m not mad!
Mad I’m not!
Mad, not I!
I speak for you
You speak for I
We speak for me
Me speak for we
I was like you
Then I grew and grew
My mind broke, you see?
I was sane once
Forget I did
You like me
Me like you
Same same same
Am I insane?
Insane I am?
Are you insane?
Insane. You. Are.
A witch of magic and mischief I am
Hocus pocus and alakazam
My spells are known across the land
Turning water to wine and stone to sand
But on a new venture I now begin
Greater I’ll be, than all my witchery kin
A new spell, one greater than any other
Powerful enough to turn your son into your mother
A drop of this and a pinch of that
Look at that liquid bubble and splat
But I hear you ask, why do I need a spell this grand?
You see, I’ve always felt rather bland
My looks are dull and I’m shy to boot
And I think I’m always covered in soot
But this will change all that and more
Although it might leave me a lil’ sore
I want the confidence to speak my mind
The words that are trapped I want to find
So now that my potion’s boiled and stewed
I’ll have the courage to say, I love you…
That was the first word I ever spoke
Who gave me life
And stayed true no matter what
Who made a boy
But left before he made a man
That was a lifetime ago
And now I face a time of death
My body is withered
My family is the same
My hair is gone
But my mother is not
She stands firm
Like a mighty oak
What will I say to her?
As I die?
I know what my first words were
But as for my last?
I guess I could go with
“I have no regrets”
But that would be a lie
For I have too many to count
Perhaps, “I love you” would do
But I feel much deeper than that
Love is too simple a word
Should I tell her not to cry
As I do?
Let her cry away her sadness
As I do.
So what then?
What am I to say?
The last words I will ever speak
On my very last day?
I shall end as I began
For all that you have given me
All I can really say
Man and Beast
Blood drips. Down. Down. Down.
White lips. Frown. Frown. Frown.
Black blade, roaring in the night.
His heart, fleeing from the light.
Violence made flesh, flesh made red.
He will not stop until all are dead.
Barsch, master of the beast.
Lanista, who desires to feast.
Together, they howl, two souls stained black.
Together, they scream, ready to attack.
Flesh rips. Drown. Drown. Drown.
Blood drips. Down. Down. Down.
(And for those of you who have read Awakening, this poem is based on the events of Wareven village)
What is a face without a mind
I have quite the opposite bind
My skin is never quite the same
Although I always retain my name
Every morning, as the sun I behold
I find that my flesh has become mottled and old
I peel and tear and throw it away
This I repeat, every single day
And when my old coat is gone
I emerge like the ugly duckling became the swan
Never the same look I possess
Some days I’ll wear pants, others a dress
And although my form every day changes
And my face has many, many ranges
The person inside is always me
Even though with different eyes I see
My likes and hobbies and fears true
Do not change, same as you
So this curse of mine is really no curse at all
For I will always be me, whether I’m big or small!
Vile things creep in the night
Vile things come from the blight
Vile things take and take
Vile things make and make
Vile things say do no harm
Vile things slaughter on the farm
Vile things lurch and spew
Vile things will harm the few
Vile things are never wrong
Vile things don’t think for long
Vile things lie and steal
Vile things break and peel
Vile things say anything
Vile things chaos bring
Vile things stride around
Vile things go in the ground
Vile things will never change
Vile things are rather strange
Vile things have two of each
Vile things off the Earth do leech
Vile things will bring us tears
Vile things last many years
Vile things are here to stay
Vile things like it that way
Vile things are you and me
Vile things are all we see
Vile things are humans too
Vile things have punishment due
Vile things will have to learn
Vile things will one day yearn
Vile things are killing this land
Vile things have gotten out of hand
Vile things need to be stopped
Vile things should be chopped
Vile things litter and lie
Vile things are bitter and die
Vile things we too shall end
Vile things to heaven send
Vile things here no more
Vile things a great eyesore
Vile things gone at last
Vile things now in the past
Vile things a memory now
Vile things should take a bow!
I travel across the land
Formless as the shifting sand
I was a man once, alive and well
Until down a steep cliff I stupidly fell
I was trying to take the perfect pic
But now my family will think I was mentally sick
I move as shadows and breathe as cloud
I can be whisper quiet or very loud
A spirit I am for the rest of time
No hell for me, I committed no crime
So why then do I linger so?
Why indeed do I go to and fro?
Perhaps I have a regret or six
That I now need to wander and fix?
Or is this simply the afterlife whole
Nothing to do but remain a soul?
Shall I remain until the end of days?
With nothing to do except at memories gaze?
No, I will not forever this form retain
I had a family, a wife and a name!
I will travel this land and fix my sins
Until to my late name there are nothing but wins
I am dead, a spirit, and mist
But that does not mean that I am not missed!
My voice may have gone away
But I still have something I want to say
I might not make a peep nor a sound
But I have thoughts I want found
People say you poor pitiful thing
You will never again be able to sing
But there is a beauty in silence, can’t you see
And when I’m alone with my thoughts, it’s just me
I speak with my fingers and read with my lips
I don’t need sympathy, nor will I use your scripts
For I myself am a thing of wonder
I am lightning without the following thunder
You speak with your mouth and I with my heart
And yet what I dream is a work of art
I have an opinion, many in fact
Don’t count me out because of what I’ve lacked
Give me your time, attention and gaze
I will speak and sing in my own special ways
I may be mute but I’m not dumb
I can do more than just hum
So look into my eyes and hear my voice
You will never ever have made a better choice
My Heart Trembles
I am a child of fear and furore
I even fear what lies in the mirror
All I ever do is tremble and shake
Whether I’m studying hard or eating cake
But you are not at all like me
From fear and worry you are free
You leap ahead without measuring first
For adventure and life you’ve got a thirst
So help me become more like you
Until of fears I have only a few
Take my hand and lead me right
But never let me out of sight
This world is big and scary to boot
But by my side I hope you’ll root
For I am a child of fears and strife
And only with you can I live my life!
The sea bucks, and I go with it
Following the roiling storm in its epileptic fit
I have been at sea for far too long
I no longer crave bread or wine, only song
Yes, that melodious tune holds my ear
And that I should never again hear it is my fear
The lookout in his mast so high
Searching the horizon vast with his eye
He will be the one to speak the phrase
The one that we have awaited for many days
I am tired of blue and black
I dream of what we all lack
Sandy beaches and hills I seek
Even a single pebble would make me weak
Go to the new world my lover spoke
To find great treasure for my fairer folk
So that her hand I may take in mine
And finally steal away what’s theirs and thine
So on this wretched journey kept
Over the side if only I’d leapt
But I will stay true and persevere
Until the sight of land is here
From up above I hear the cry
And I pray that he did not tell a lie
On the deck we all dance and cheer
After all it’s been a long year
“Land ho, land ho, land ho!” he said
Soon, soon my love, and we’ll be wed!
It all started with a cough
And a feeling of something being off
Next came the shortness of breath
I began to wonder about death
No, I said, ’tis only a bug
All I need is a well fashioned drug
So I took my pills and bade my rest
Swaddled in a soft and down-filled nest
But as the days turned to weeks
And the colour drained from my rosy cheeks
I began to fear that this was it
So smoking immediately I did quit
But the doctor said it wasn’t enough
And that things were about to become very rough
Stage four he said, with eyes of gloom
I don’t even recall how I left his room
That was four and forty days ago
From all the chemo I practically glow
My children beside my bed do weep
As they wait for my eternal sleep
I have made my peace and done my will
Of life I have had more than my fill
My darling wife before me did go
Off to heaven went my darling beau
So now I too take a new step
For which I have had a lifetime to prep
Although my fear is still at my side
I shall not let it hamper my stride
Life has given me tears and joy
From my darling love to my little boy
A life well lived is what they’ll say
As over my casket they solemnly pray
So now it is time for me to leave
They will need their time to grieve
Towards the light I now ascend
I know my wife awaits at the end
So bring it on, this death of mine!
And thank God I lived to ninety-nine!
Non Temetis Messor
Alarm bells ring
Listen as the monitors sing
Call the code blue
Seconds left, far too few
Hear the pounding boots
Through the doors he shoots
The harbinger of life has come
To do battle with life’s still drum
Feel the force of his blows
Watch as lifeblood torrents flows
Breath of life
Given to end the strife
Thirty then two
I will save you!
Don’t let the lifeline drop
Don’t let that fighting heart stop
Grab the paddles for the shock
On death’s door we shall not knock
Charging come the cavalry called
To wrestle with the heart now stalled
Clear the way, clear the seat
Make way for the returning beat
Brandish your hope and dig a lot deeper
Yell out loud that you don’t fear the reaper!
I am as normal as they come
If I were a sweet I’d be water flavoured gum
No excitement nor adventure for me
I have reached the highest I’ll ever be
My days and nights are rather quiet
I’ll definitely not be out in a riot
On weekends I sit and do my taxes
Maybe even send off a few funny faxes
But this life of mine ain’t so bad
Over how things turned out I ain’t even mad
Sure it might seem a bit drab and droll
But I am happy from my heart to my soul
Not every man needs to be a king
Nor find a girl to give a shiny ring
Some of us simply stay in the background
If you search hard enough even I’ll be found
But about me no books will ever be written
For in the faceless mass I’d rather fit in
I won’t even be a footnote in history
There will be no secrets to uncover about this mystery
I’ll simply live and die and that’ll be it
I’ll stay out the way until from life I quit
But please, kind sir, do not feel pity
Not every life has to be sparkling and pretty
So when you catch a sign of my unremarkable form
Simply stop, sigh, and say, “There goes Norm!”
I was once all the rage
I was a gadget that defined an age
Kids everywhere clamoured to have me
And why that was is not hard to see
I had all the best gimmicks and features
I was not like those poor inferior creatures
But then my time came and went
And upon me no more coin was spent
I was old news, they mocked and spat
And in the warehouse for years I sat
I am obsolete, this is fine
This is no longer nineteen ninety nine
But upon the wind I have heard a new word
It is spoken by many, I think they be called “nerd”
“Nostalgia” they say, pointing my way
Perhaps it has come time for a new day
I shall be loved again, at least for a time
But hey, a dime is a dime
So now no longer obsolete am I
And it will be a while longer before I finally die!
What is darker than black?
Is there a colour we still lack?
What lies in the deepest hole?
What colour is a sinner’s soul?
Look up at night and tell me what you see
Between the stars there is something that’s free
A void of infinite size and span
You could say of that shade I’m quite the fan
I want to bottle up that darkness and use it to paint
I want to stare and stare until I feel faint
For that deep, deep darkness exists both above and below
It is but light’s one and only foe
Blacker than black and darker than oil
Whether you look above or beneath the soil
Darkness surrounds us in every which way
Darkness comes at the end of each day
So why fear that which you cannot outrun
Do not worry and whimper when you can’t see the sun
Simply close your eyes and it’ll be where you are
Cause the darkness around you is never too far…